I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
