Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
