Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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