Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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