I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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