Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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