Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i wish my penis had a tongue
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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