I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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