Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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