Its about making memories worth repressing
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
