i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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