Yo dont text me then not text me
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
