I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
