he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
