Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
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Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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