you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
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Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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