She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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