I wish I could teleport
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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