i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
