I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
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I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
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I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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