If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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