No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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