Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
