can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
