I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
