I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize