What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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