woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
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I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
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Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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