Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
