I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize