Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
