I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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