she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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