CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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