I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
