is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
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Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
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