I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
