I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
