and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
