yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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