I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize