It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
