is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
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i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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