Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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