I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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