ya dads aren't the best wingmen
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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