she looked like the before picture.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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