I never want to see another naked old woman again.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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