i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
