You just made me feel so damn special
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
