just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
