so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
