I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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