And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
