so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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