then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
