eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
